


Still A Better Love Story Than Twilight

by laguzgirl



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/M, i don't know what the hell i wrote, i just banged my head on they keyboard and this appeared, i've literally only played kh1 and ux, she should know by now tho that i don't know how to make nice things, this was just written for a friend, wtf is a key? or a kingdom? or a heart or a darkness??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-04-14 20:18:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14143755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laguzgirl/pseuds/laguzgirl
Summary: hey what if Vanitas and Aqua but in love





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NekoNikki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NekoNikki/gifts).



Once upon a time, there was a Disney video game infected with anime and darkness and giant motherfucking keys. There was this super cheery, happy-go-lucky protagonist kid named Sora and he was besties with some classic Disney Heroes! (and also the author didn't mean to capitalize Heroes, she just kinda did it by accident because she was playing fire emblem: heroes earlier anD I GOT FEM! GRIMA ROBIN AND BRAVE LYN, HOLY SHIT THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE)

Sora was prancing around in some world I can't be bothered to figure out, having a good time, drinking a few beers, killing innocent folks-

waaaaaaiiiiit a second... that's not a sora, it's all black and edgy looking, sora is the opposite of edge! Gasp, it's the edgy recolor of Sora, Vanitas!

...isn't he technically Ventus? Why does he look like Sora if he's...?

Ehh, whatever, I'm not invested enough in Kingdom Hearts as a series to care. I just know Vanitas was skipping around and being a general edgelord like his darkness told him too. Out of nowhere, a water based waifu appeared, gasping and pointing a finger at him.

"Holy shit, an edgelord!! My key teacher told me edge was evil!!" Aqua gasped while pointing a finger at him.

"Hell yeah Im an edgelord, and hell yeah edge is evil!" Vantas kicked over a trashcan while yelling. "Fuck the law, and fuck good things!! imma bad bitch!"

"Hey what if fuck me??" Agua asked while tearing off her clothes.

"holy shit, what if"

and then van fucked the agua

eraqus appeared and stabbed the minivan with a key though

"What a bad van, your gas mileage isn't even good :////" Eraqus declared as he did that stabby thing. 

"ohnoooooo, master what have you done, he was good at fuck" Agua craid

"Don't worry agua, I alive!!!!!" Mini Van came back to life through the power oF LOVEEEEEEEEEE! wwwooooooaaaaahhhhh!!

and then terra appeared and stabbed the eraqus with his own key and eraqus FUCKING DIED

"Hey I'm taking a bunch of sad kids to an ice cream parlor, y'all have fun!" Terra gave a thumbs up to Agua and Minivan before gliding away on his heelies that I promise he definitely has in canon before agua and minivan did the fuck again


	2. MORE OF THAT VANIQUA, THIS TIME WITH FEWER OLD MEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was just supposed to be a one off thing for my friend but she was just complaining about bad fanfic and i figured even i could do better while not trying, and that's considering i still don't know a goshdang thing about kingdom hearts except that apparently zexion is not as emo as he looks  
> so enjoy this part 2 i guess, even if it's Bad
> 
> EDIT: i was only informed after writing this that apparently minivan was a bad nickname choice for vanitas because apparently that's a ship name?? vanitas/minnie is a ship???? wtf are y'all heathens even doing in this fandom?  
> ah whatever, i'm not changing the nickname, it's still a goodname, just know i'm not talking about the weird ship

Some time after Agua and MiniVan did the fuck, they were on the cutest goshdang date mankind had ever heard of;

 

Kicking over trash cans. 

"Holy shit, this whole 'dark side' stuff is actually kind of fun." Agua grinned, having the time of her life. 

"I know right!? it's the ultimate bonding experience"! Minivan exclaimed as he kicked over a trashcan, sending it flying a few miles (and probably hitting a Terra off in the distance who was just trying to NYOOM on his new heelies.)

"OW" said the terra in the distance who got hit by the trash can, falling over while he was trying to Heelies

"Hey dude, heelie Terra is one of my best friends, that's not cool :///////////" Agua crossed her arms. "you can hit normal terra with trash cans whenever you want, but not heelie terra, he's cool"

"oh. sorry, sorry, I'll do my best to direct my edge at people you don't care about." Minivan apologized with the best apology possible.

"D'awww, that's so sweet of you minivan! I deeply appreciate you trying to be a better person for me!" Agua coo'd.

"ehhh if that's what you wanna call it..." Minivan sweatdropped. he wasn't reeeaaally trying to be a better person, he just didn't want a sad Agua specifically, so maybe hurting her friends was off the table. Maybe. "Anyways different subject! Can YOU kick a trashcan too??"

"Oh, I can do better than that!" Agua cracked her knuckles before turning towards a dumpster and kicking that with her full force. The dumpster was heavy asf fuck by the way, it was absolutely filled with trash; all sorts of garbage people had thrown out, the author of this fic, the author's favorite muk who is a friend, the friend this fic was being written for, everyone who promises to play team support in team-focused rpgs but then tries to hog the spotlight as main attacker even though they picked the fucking healer class and should be healing people aND NOT TRYING TO ATTACK WHEN THEY ARE THE ONLY TEAM HEALER YOU FUCKING PRICK

Minivan watched in awe as that dumpster went flying miles away, probably hitting a Riku in the head or something and maybe sending him to the hospital idk. "....holy fuk that was the most attractive thing i've ever seen. so badass... so edg, since it hurt a guy and also probably hurt the people inside the dumpster...."

"lol"

"hey agua"

"yo"

"fuck me plz"

"yea sure"

and then they fucked, and as they fucked, terra and riku cried for fifty six years and three months and eight days because they got hit by that much garbage

....wait were agua and minivan fucking the whole time terra and riku cried?? holy shit that's a lot of fucking. too much fucking actually. the Sex Police came for Agua and Minivan and threw them in jail for Too Much Sex after the first two years of straight fucking, but it was ok because the sex police did not think through the fact they put the ship in the same jail cell so they got to be happy and together forever~


End file.
